Hello my friends..!
want to chat about a health wellness and weight loss tool
that i think is more helpful more logical and more effective than willpower so tell me have you ever had
the experience where you feel like if you could just take a specific action or stop taking a specific action that you would most definitely make progress towards your health wellness and or weight loss goal
right so this is just something that you instinctually know right we all have an inner wisdom and inner knowing
this is not something that you need an external guru or a book to affirm for you
you just know that if you did this thing or stopped doing this thing you would make some progress i like to think of this as low-hanging fruit so things that may even be very obvious so for example it could be if every single night after dinner um you snap on the couch in the evening
when you're not really hungry and you feel like if you stopped doing that you could definitely make progress towards
your weight loss goals or maybe you want to work more vegetables into your diet and you believe that they would give you more energy and that you would begin to feel better have a little more pep in your step but for whatever reason you just can't implement that change now
the habitual pattern behavior for many people when we're struggling with health and or weight loss goals is to think
that this is a willpower issue right we take these obstacles and then we use them against ourselves by saying things to ourselves or asking us questions
asking ourselves questions like what is wrong with me why is this so hard for me
why can't i ever do this why can't i get this right why am i not capable of reaching this goal for myself why can't i be more consistent why can't i be more disciplined etc but what we have to remember is that the quality of our questions to ourselves and to others will determine the quality of the answers that we find okay so the quality of your question will determine
the quality of your answer if you ask yourself low-level unkind questions
your brain is going to provide you with low level unkind answers that's just the way we work
so for example if you ask yourself what is wrong with me why can't i do this your brain will seek answers to that question
well because you're lazy because you're unmotivated because you don't try hard enough because you're not disciplined because you don't have enough willpower your brain will go about trying to answer the question that you give it the energy and the intention of the question is always going to determine the energy and the intention of the answer we have a specific habit that we want to change what so many of us have been taught is oh you just need more willpower and more disciplined and so we take that information and then we automatically make ourselves wrong as though if i could only do this or if i could only do that
i need more willpower i need more discipline without really doing a kinder more curious deeper more interested investigation so the tool that i have found to be way more effective than willpower for myself
and with my clients is to simply ask yourself
why from a place of true interest right from a place of ease and love and compassion and real curiosity
one of my mentors taught me that the truth said without love
is not really the truth and i could not agree with that more in my own life
i have truly come to find that subject matter is half the story and our own energy and intention is the other half because i can tell you for sure that every single action you take or do not take has a very valid and good reason it's not
i promise you because you're stupid lazy or not capable every action we take consciously or unconsciously is a valid attempt at some type of self-care and that may not always be evident at the surface which is why it's so important that we're willing enough to stay loving and compassionate and curious enough with ourselves to ask the why to and to take a deeper look so here's what i want you to do grab a piece of paper or your favorite journal and on the left side of the page write one to three things that you would like to do and or stop doing that you believe would support your health wellness and our weight loss goals okay and then once you have those down i want you to go to the right side of the paper and i want you to kindly and gently ask yourself why does this feel so tricky for me how does this habit or behavior serve me what does it actually provide for me and why do i do it why do i like doing it get really curious about why you're doing or not doing the things you think you would like to do because then you have a real opportunity to understand yourself and your current habits and once you can understand it you have a real place to work when it comes to changing it if you don't really understand what you're working with that's when we're just trying to use willpower to will our way to the finish line without really feeling connected to what we're doing let's use the example i used earlier let's say that after dinner every evening you eat snacks on the couch late at night when you're not really hungry and you believe if you stopped doing that you would make progress towards your goals
i want you to ask yourself
so oftentimes our struggles with food and health and or weight loss are not about what we think they are about and we have to be willing to just take that deeper dive so that we can truly understand what we're working with because i can't reiterate enough
and i know i already said it that it's never because there's anything inherently wrong with you or me or anybody who has a hard time getting to a goal right
it's always about developing and deepening the relationship that we have with ourselves so we can better understand our needs and then what we need to make that forward progress so i'm curious to hear if this resonates with you at all if it does come on down to the comments below
and share whether it's an aha moment oran experience you've had from the past iwould love to hear about it and i know
the community would as well because when we share our stories we all help each other learn and grow
as always thank you so much for being here im Farhat King technical and i will see you
back here next time with some more foodfor thought cheers you.
very informative
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